Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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