if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
