Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
