I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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