Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
