I forgot how hot balto sounded
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
