Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dicks are not precious.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
