Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
