dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
