yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
