everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
