Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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