Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
