4 words: hood of his car
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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