I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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