guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
