now i know why i became what i already was.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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