When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
