Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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