That's when you crack a 10am beer
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
