i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
