No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
