Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
