Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
