My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
