I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
