Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
