Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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