if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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