then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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