That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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