well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
