tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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