Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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