we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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