when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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