in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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