Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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