that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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