Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I will die if light touches me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
