what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
