If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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