just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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