i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
