He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
