R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
