I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
