Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
