I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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