we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
