i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
God, I missed his penis.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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